Practicing Stillness

I was practicing stillness today - not meditation, but just stillness. Took a walk to the gardens without my camera or pen and journal, sat on a bench overlooking the valley, and folded my body in on itself, the way I've seen Reece (my 4 year old mutt back home.) do when he is preparing to be still, yet alert.

The sun was out and casting shadows through the leaves on the trees that were shading me. Like Reece, I closed my eyelids gently but continued to see and feel the sun's rays on my face and see the shadows dancing from behind my eyelids, my ears were still open and I was fully aware of the sounds of children giggling and water splashing in the fountain. I let my mind wander from thought to thought: Cortona's beauty, friends and family, to do lists, lunch today... After 10 minutes or so -I'm not wearing a watch so I can't be certain-I was ready to get on with it! My own voice stopped me and said, "No-sit with this, practice."

It's clear to me I've developed some bad habits that helped me cope through law school and grieving, but were now a hindrance on vacation.

Flip, the wise man, who said this trip was pretty much a no brainer (not his exact words but definitely his sentiments) told me that after 2 weeks my knotted muscles would let go of themselves, and after 3 weeks I wouldn't recognize my body. I can already see some transformation after 5 days.

It has started in my eyes. They appear simpler, relaxed, and open, not strained, chaotic, tired. Occasionally, I'll find my shoulders are not at my ears and my neck has more mobility, and I wonder for how long they have allowed themselves this break from being on guard.

My body is far from a full transformation. There still feels as if there is a 16" softball stuck between my shoulder blades; I still find my butt muscles clenched; and I still forget to breath sometimes. Still Practicing-Yet to Master!

Forced Practicing - My voltage converter decided to leap out of my hand today and land on the hard, terra cotta floor, no harm done to the floor but the converter suffered a terrible knock-out. The writing I had put off till today will now be further delayed. A sign from the universe to keep practicing.